These days were Tuesday and Wednesday – 9/06 and /9/07/2011. Songs that most closely matches my mood = “Breathe” – Michelle Branch; and “Come Back” – Pearl Jam. I’m feeling “Breathe” right now because the song makes me smile and want to dance, which is weird because it’s a song about breaking up. Maybe it’s an empowering break up song? I just enjoy the groove and it makes me smile. But I’m also still really bummed that Elisha isn’t here – two days wasn’t enough time. Blah – forever wouldn’t be long enough. Check out my tumblr page for a funny pic that reflects my mood – commonterry.tumblr.com.
Work on Tuesday wasn’t as busy as normal Tuesday coming out of a holiday usually is, but it was still a little busy. However, that wasn’t why I wasn’t able to write last night. I didn’t write because the NFL season is around the corner. The players and owner taking their sweet ass time over the most recent collective bargaining agreement caused the offseason to be drastically shortened, which really made the Fantasy Football offseason a rushed nightmare. We’re just now getting finished with our free agency period in the Fantasy Football League I run, which is something that we should have been able to finish a month ago – at least. Kickoff is 14 hours from now lol! So me and my friend Scott were busy fixing and updating the rosters of all 10 teams in our league until around 4am last night. I was just too tired to write, so I didn’t.
I had a few texts sent and received with Elisha. She’s busy post-vacation, and I’m busy with all the above. Sometimes life is just this gigantic distraction that keeps you from everyone you care about. That’s what it feels like to me right now, anyway. The US Open has been rained out the past couple of days, so Lee Jay and I haven’t texted about it. But we have had plenty to talk about football wise, and that’s cool. I usually go up there for the first weekend of football, but I’m not this year. Mom is going down for the 23rd – 25th, so I am going then as well. Mom and I talked about that on AIM on Tuesday, as well as other things. Mom says she is SO happy that Elisha and I are “together again”. As if we were a couple who broke up and now have reconciled. Maybe, in a way, that is what’s happened. All I know is that it’s almost like all the good things that happened in the past two years were less special, because I couldn’t share them with her. And all the bad things hit harder because she wasn’t there to deflect the blows – as she always was. Things still aren’t back to 100%. It’s like watching a movie in perfect focus, and then the focus is pulled and everything becomes this blurry mess. And now the focus is slowly returning to normal. I can see again, but everything still has that soft tinge of being out of focus. If you look at it took long it gives you a headache. Sometimes – I have to rest my eyes.
Before the modern convenience of extended wear contact, folks used to always have to take their contacts out every night. Which is a nightmare for a klutz like me. Well, I’m less of a klutz now than I was when I was in my teens and early 20s. Back then I often would tear one contact, or lose one. And I’d have no glasses to fall back on. So in order to be able to see when going to class, I would have to go around with one contact in one eye, and the other eye without. So I’d have half blurry vision and half normal vision. Talk about headaches – if you’ve ever had to do that, then you get where I’m coming from.
Not that I’m complaining, really. Healing – it takes time. I’m impatient, and often frustrated with our human limitations. I want the fact that we love each other to supersede everything. “I’ve been wishing out the day – oh, oh, oh – come back.”
That’s about all that I have to say about Tuesday.
Wednesday was really a joyous and pleasant day of work. There were fewer calls than normal, and of course fewer tickets to work. Which was great because there was still a lot to think about in regards to Fantasy Football League. Our league is called the League of Extraordinary Fantasy Football Owners (LXFFO). From now on, I’m just going to refer to it at the LXFFO. So I have one computer loggged into one mail account with a chat window up about LXFFO stuff. Another computer logged into a different mail account with another chat window up about LXFFO stuff. Forum posts to make on the website I run for the league. Stuff to do on our CBS Sportsline page. More chats to have. It’s a busy time for football as the kickoff for the season is happening soon! It’s exciting, and I’m stoked yes, but I’ll be glad when it’s over and we’re finally into the season proper.
I texted very briefly with Elisha again tonight. Our lives are busy, but it’s good we take these few moments to reach out when we have a few moments. It helps. These reminders that she’s there, and thinking of me. These confirmations that I felt you were there thinking of me, like I’m here thinking of you. They help a lot.
So chatting and texting about LXFFO, a few texts with Elisha, chatting with my Mom on AIM as usual, chatting with Todd briefly as he gets defensive about neglecting his team because of a new girlfriend in his life. LOL – as if I’m not happy for him. Still, women, they can often make us neglect the other responsibilities we have to ourselves and others. I am not immune – it’s just an unfortunate reality.
So anyway, that was Wednesday. Not much to report. Work keeps me busy. The LXFFO keep me busy. I played a little bit of Mass Effect 2 tonight – more than I have in a while. I miss Elisha.
Anyway…….Thursday will be a big day. The NFL kicks off – SO looking forward to that! Of course I will be at work, but I’ll be able to turn the game on the IPTV system on one of the computers at my desk. It will be sweet. Not as sweet as watching it here on my huge TV with my awesome sound system, but that’s what Sunday and the NFL Sunday Ticket are for – can’t wait!
Well, until next time when I share it all with you……… After the Fact!