Survivor Season 33, Episode 2, “Love Goggles”

What is up my lovely survivor peeps?! Here we go with my Episode 2 Survivor season 33 weekly recap. I hope you all enjoyed the episode, but if you haven’t seen it yet then of course beware of spoilers! Here we go!

We find ourselves at the GenX camp, and out of all of these people it’s weak assed David who ends up making fire for them. What?! Then these brilliant Gen X’ers think it’s a great idea to allow the guy they KNOW (a self admitted fact even) has already been looking for an idol to go roaming around the forest by himself. He’s looking for rocks for us – let him go and keep himself busy – they say. We’re smart, right? No – you’re dumb you r’tards! So of course David goes off looking for his rocks, and ends up finding the idol as well. He finds it without a clue even. Man, I just know this is going to be another Tai situation. Last season after episode 1 I thought Tai had absolutely no chance to win the game, and then he goes off and makes it to final three and almost wins! How do these weirdos end up doing this?! AAGGHHH!

And now we have Taylor talking about Figgy. Every time he, and Jay for that matter, open their mouths, I feel like the entire word becomes dumber for it. Not just their general area, or those of us who have to listen to them, but the black hole of emptiness in their heads is powerful enough to suck intelligence away from the entire word and cast it into the void to be lost there… forever! Ok, I agree with him about Figgy at least. Good lord she is SMOKING HOT! I don’t blame him, or anyone for that matter, for having love goggles for her. Speaking of “Love Goggles” – that is the name of this episode, and Taylor’s quote inspired it. That gives him, and Haylee, our first points of the season (3). Woo Hoo – the game is ON my beautilicous friends!

At camp Millennials, everyone is freaking out about Taylor and Figs starting up a possible showmance. First off let me say that I agree that the two loves birds should have tried to keep that more hidden, and been more careful about the whole thing. Taylor; Figgs; Michelle; and Jay should have kept their alliance more secret as well, for that matter, instead of isolating themselves from the rest of the tribe from the get go. That is neither here nor there I suppose. In any event, I also think that these Millennials are just being irrational about the entire showmance situation. I mean this is day 5 or 6, people! Your tribe is still 10 strong, and there otherwise has been only one eviction. I mean – good grief people are acting like these two people are not only going to dominate the game, but then declare themselves emperors of the universe. Jay says that couples never last on survivor, but that’s not true by a long shot. We even once had a couple in the final two: Boston Rob and Amber. So it can work – as long as the couple is a little more smart about it than these two very lovely, but dumb people. But we’ll see what happens of course.

Michaela is the worst of the irrational lot for the Millennials. The only explanation I have for her behavior toward Figgy is utter jealousy. Unless something went down between the two of them that was edited out of the show. Otherwise, I don’t get why she’s so upset. I seriously don’t get it. She needs to get over herself, or she isn’t going to last long. I don’t see it happening, though, so I predict, unless other strong people carry her along with them, she will be gone soon.

What a smart player would have done, when they noticed this pairing up, is integrate themselves into their dynamic and form an alliance with them. Use their “2 votes” to their advantage, and coach them to stop making it so obvious that they are together. Then at some advantageous spot once the tribes merge into one, that smart player would have worked behind the scenes to get one of the pair evicted. The best way would be to wait for someone else to complain about one of them, and then encourage them to campaign against them. That way it never seems like their idea. Anyway, once one of them is gone, then they have the other all to themselves. They are their shoulder and their “ride or die”. A huge part of the game is “outwit”, correct?! Well you can’t be outwitting anyone if all you can do is run your mouth like a jealous nut case, or freak out about something like this on day 5. I mean – seriously – these Millennials need to settle down.

Then we saw the Paul situation. In last week’s “next time on survivor” clip, production made this whole ordeal seem more dramatic and life threatening than it really was. He had some heat exhaustion and dehydration. I’m glad it wasn’t a heart attack, but it was a little annoying that they played this up like that. Regardless, I don’t think Paul will be around for long because of his whole “I need to be in control” issues. People like Paul don’t usually last long on survivor, as opposed to showmances. Just look at Peter last season. Yeah, he’s going to be gone soon.

The immunity challenge was very entertaining. An obstacle course in, around, and under water – it was one of the coolest ones I’ve seen. At one point, I was sure that David was going to lose it for the Gen X’ers, but they somehow pulled it out in an impressive come back. The win gives Chris (Brian), Lucy (Kelly), Bret (Kelly), Jessica (Brian), Ken (Jo Lynn), and Cece (Bella) 5 points each. Since the Millennials are going to tribal, that gives Michaela (Kelly), Figgy (Jo Lynn), Michelle (Jo Lynn), Hanna (Brian), Mari and Will (Bella), and Jay; Taylor; and Zeke (Haylee) each -2 points.

So the Millennials are going to tribal, and everyone wants to vote out Figgy. Again, I don’t get these people. Anyway, Michelle realizes what is going down and starts making moves to prevent it. Hey, folks, here we have a Millennial who is mega smart. I mean, did you watch Michelle – did you listen to her?! It was IMPRESSIVE to have talked to Michaela, of all people, and convinced her to vote with them and KEEP FIGGY. This is the one person Michaela seems to hate, and Michelle convinced her to keep her. Ok, Jay helped, but clearly Michelle was in charge of the whole thing. She also got Will on their side as well. I mean, Mari is probably smarter than all of them, but Michelle really impressed me with her savvy brain skills. She could go far. I think Michelle realized that her most significant mental threat she had on her team was Mari, so she targeted her. I think that’s exactly what happened.

So tribal happens, and we have more irrational talk about the showmance stuff. Right now, I think the only Millennial who has any chance at all of winning this is Michelle. The rest of them – they’re too emotional, and/or dumber than dumb, for this game. It’s probably going to be a GenX season. That’s my read at this point anyway, and I suppose it’s possible they’ll settle down at some point. Even though during tribal Michaela is still going off at Figs, still for no apparent reason, she STILL casts her vote to get rid of Mari. I was flabbergasted to say the least, but Michelle really worked her magic on her.

So I feel bad for Bella. I know she really liked Mari as she knows who Mari is outside of Survivor, and follows her on YouTube. Sorry, IzzyB, that your player had to go. Figgy got 3 votes to evict, and Mari got 7. That’s -3 to Figgy for the votes, and -7 to Mari. Figgy gets 2 points for getting multiple votes, but still surviving. Mari finishes 19th, and gets 1 point for that. Will, Michaela, Hanna, Michelle, Jay, Taylor, and Zeke each receive 3 points for receiving no votes at tribal.

I didn’t see any quotes becoming hashtags in this episode. If you did, let me know. At this point then, Kelly and I tied for the episode lead of 11 points; Haylee got 6 total points; Jo Lynn got 3 total points; and Bella got -2 total points. Don’t forget to check out the spreadsheet to see the complete break down of the points.

Until next week, my peeps! Have a great weekend, and an awesome first week of October! It’s almost Halloween time! Yes!

Kelly Conway

Brian your commentary is the best part of playing this game with you guys!!! I totally agree about Michelle and Mari. I was shocked really, because I didn’t see that much in her really during the first episode. Just another pretty face but WOW was I ever wrong!!! She first swayed Jay’s vote for Figgy and then most everyone else including Michaela and Hannah right at tribal for crying out loud!! I agree she is def the brains of that crew with Mari gone. I felt bad for Mari because she could have gone really far but that blindside was so unexpected. I think Michelle knows how famous Mari is on Youtube and the rest of them had no clue. Not only famous but famous for playing and winning games along with a personality that makes people want to watch her. That’s a Survivor threat if ever there was one!! So Kudos to Michelle for seeing that and getting her voted out quick. I do think Taylor has some spaces in between those ears but hey, he’s our Figgy! The women like the hotties too!! (I will always thank Survivor for bringing Malcom into my life and I follow his daily shenanigans with loving adoration on Insta) but Jay may surprise you!! I think he is smarter than you think!!!
As for Gen X what can I say?? First off ???? When did our gen become the old crew?? ???????? Paul had a classic Panic attack out there, I don’t care what the doctors called it. As soon as he said his hands were numb I knew what was going on. I agree he won’t last long. I’m happy I have Lucy, she keeps a low profile right now but I think she’s smart and she’s athletic. I think she’ll go far!! I love Brett and Chris their alliance will take them far until one of them has to go! Thanks for your recap and keeping our scores!!! Love Surviving with you all!! See ya next week!

Haylee Anne Conway

Yes but see everyone thought Fabio was such a dipshit air head too, and he won Nicaragua. And proved everyone wrong.

J Brian Terry

I’m not a person who thinks he’s right about everything, so I’m all for ti if they prove me wrong. I hope they do because it will make the Millennials way more interesting, and the game more competitive. We’ll see what happens!

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