The Further Adventures of 2006

Well the lovely year of 2006 continues its pounding upon me. My car is no longer well enough to carry me from point A to point B. In fact, I can’t get it out of my parking deck here at the apartment complex. So now I have been forced to make use of public transportation to get to work and back, or, in fact, to get anywhere and back. That fact really isn’t the bad part. I mean, it could be worse. I could be stuck without a way to get anywhere, so I am grateful for MARTA, as well as the Cobb County and Gwinnett County bus systems. What sucks really hard is that I just spent $400 to try to get my car fixed to no avail.

I got tired of my car stalling all the time, and of the fact that I was riding around with my tag expired, so I decided to try and get it fixed. I took my failed emissions test form to them, as I’m supposed to do. They told me the EGR valve and several vacuum hoses needed to be replaced at a cost of $400. That is a severe kick in the wallet for me, but as I saw it at the time I figured I had little choice. I told them to do it.

What I was hoping was that fixing this EGR shite would be a cure all – it would make my car run better plus it would let me pass emissions. I had an oxygen sensor go bad on a Hyundai car I once owned that made it run sort of like how this car is running, so I hoped that this repair would work out the same way. But it was not to be. I got my car back, and initially it seemed to be running better. But at the second traffic light I stopped at…it stalled. I can’t even pass emissions because my car won’t idle long enough for it to be properly tested. So…for all I know they did fix the emissions problem, but because my car won’t run I can’t do anything with it.

So…I’ve decided to screw it for now. I can’t be plopping down $400 every month and crossing my fingers hoping it’s money well spent. I’ve got to move on with my life and just make due with what I have. So I’ve loaded up on MARTA tokens, and bus passes. The only bad thing about public transportation is that it takes longer to get anywhere than if I could just drive there myself. It’s not that the buses and trains are necessarily slower than driving myself – they’re not. It’s the waiting at the stations for them to arrive and pick me up that takes up so much time. The seconds and minutes of my life are ticking away. Blah.

Man, let me tell you something else as well – all the walking I’ve had to do lately because of this has made it clear how horribly out of shape I am. I mean – I knew that in the back of my head already, but this has brought it all clear to the forefront of my existence. It’s getting a little better now, but 2 weeks ago when I started this whole extravaganza of walking and public transportation riding I found myself out of breath after just 30 seconds of walking. That’s really pathetic! My legs are sore all the time. My knees don’t feel right. I mean, not so bad that I can’t function, but it’s there.

I know I’m not freaking 20 anymore, but this sucks ass. I need to get back to playing tennis every week. I need to get back to doing something athletic every week. It is clear that my body is tumbling down a slippery slope and I have to do something now to reverse that trend. I figure this whole car thing is just God’s way of letting me know all this. I need to improve my health and get back into shape. Heart attacks are prevalent in my family, so perhaps this whole car situation is just the motivation I need to return my body to active duty.

Not only am I walking a lot, but I also bought a 21 speed bike to help me get around town. Don’t even get me started about that. I can barely ride the thing without feeling like I’m drowning and gasping for my last breaths. Okay, so I’m exaggerating, but I just want to give you an idea of how crazy this all feels to me. So, yes, it’s been 22 years since I’ve ridden a bike around, but I remember being on my bike for hours at a time with no problem. Then I’d go to football practice and the coach would bitch about how out of shape we all were. If I was out of shape then, but could ride a bike with ease, what in the hell am I now?! I’m so out of shape that “out of shape” doesn’t define how out of shape I am. I have no shape. I’ve completely lost any sense of shape. I need to find it again.

Of course back then we didn’t have phones, TVs, video games, computers, Ipods, and every damn thing else in our own rooms. So we had to go outside and create our own entertainment. We were outside running and riding around constantly. Now I just sit on my ass and don’t do shite but sit in front of a monitor, TV, or movie screen just about every second of every waking hour. Hell, thinking about it, I’m lucky I’m not more than 50 pounds overweight!

Well not anymore, of course, since I have to walk / ride the bike a lot every day. Maybe this is not such a bad thing. Maybe I shouldn’t chuck the loss of my car into the “Ass Raping of 2006” category. Maybe it’s at least a semi-good thing. Because I know me — I can’t just exercise for the sake of exercising. It’s just too mind-numbingly boring. I need a reason to exercise, and the need to do so just to get to work is perfect. I’ll keep you updated on how this all pans out through the months….

Well that’s about all that’s happening to me right now. I hope everyone had a great Valentine’s Day. I did, expect for the fact that the only Valentines I got were from women who are already married. Dammit! Thanks Sheila and Stephanie for making my Valentine’s Day a good one.

I hope everyone enjoys the new domain here. My Dad’s newspaper column was called “CommonTerry”, so I’ve decided to carry on the tradition here. Please be sure to click the “about” link to the right under the “Pages” heading and read the text there. It is required reading if you plan on making this page a frequent stop on your travels on the web. I will be tinkering with the layout and look of the site for awhile until I get it the way I want it to be. This software has the ability to take on different templates which will completely change everything about the site. I will keep messing with it until I find one that’s interesting enough to me. Feel free to leave some comments and voice your own opinions.

Be on the look out for other links under the “pages” heading to the right as well. I am going to post my lists to the site here eventually. I am going to post a list of the things that aggravate me, a list of whom I feel are the top 100 best looking celebrity women (Maxim, Stuff, and FHM have their lists – and now so will I), and a list of the best movies from 1980 on up according to me. I’m going to call them the “Brian” awards, or the “MapleJar” awards, or something like that. Have a better idea? Leave a comment and tell me about it. I’m still compiling the 1980 movies, as I have yet to receive them all from Netflix (money has been scarce until here recently due to my damn car, so my Netflix account has been on hold). When I finish 1980, I will post those and move on 1981. And so on and so forth. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it all….

Until next time,
B

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How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solve-able predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you

How to keep people at arm’s length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you’re fine and don’t need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you’re serving or helping someone

I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you ‘how to’ in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

How to hate women when you’re supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you’re really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you’re a pray-er and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success

I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you ‘how to’ in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

I’ve been doing research for years
I’ve been practicing my ass off
I’ve been training my whole life for this moment I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you

I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you ‘how to’ in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you’re thinking of killing yourself
How to numb a la holic to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything

I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you ‘how to’ in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when taught…

…I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
A course of a lifetime you’ll never forget
I’ll show you ‘how to’ in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

“Eight Easy Steps”
–Alanis Morissette
So-called Chaos

Me

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake! Like Tyler says: we are the all seeing, all dancing crap of the world! Now leave me a comment, punks!

Brian

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